How To Work Step Twelve
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The first thing to do when you approach step twelve is to recognize the first portion of step’s language: having had a spiritual awaking as the result of these steps. In other words, by the time you reach step twelve you will have had a spiritual awakening of some sort. Most likely it was not of the burning bush variety, but no doubt you have experienced it. If you think that you haven’t, just take a quick inventory. As yourself:
- Have I stopped my addictive behavior?
- Am I interacting in healthier ways with family members, bosses, coworkers, neighbors, and random strangers?
- Do I feel better about myself and my place in the world?
- Am I more accepting of others?
If the answer to these questions is “yes” (or even “sometimes”), and it almost certainly is if you’ve diligently worked the first eleven steps, then you have indeed had a spiritual awakening. So pause for a moment and pat yourself on the back, because you are ready for the remainder of step twelve.
Essentially, the remainder of step twelve can be broken down into two parts: 1) helping others to recover from addiction; and 2) practicing the 12-step principles in all our affairs.
First let us discuss helping others. This can be done in numerous ways. Oftentimes people think “sponsorship” of newcomers is the only route, but it is not. Certainly, though, it is one of the best. And it is relatively simple. A sponsor’s job is to understand the newcomer’s addiction issues as thoroughly as possible, and to guide that individual through the process of working the 12 steps. (If you are a new sponsor and find yourself unsure of the process, just consult with your own sponsor to see how he or she would handle things.)
Another great way to do twelfth step work is to attend and participate 12-step meetings. By attending these meetings, you are supporting others on their journey, letting them know they are not alone and that you care about them. By talking in meetings, which is highly encouraged, you share your experience, strength, and hope, allowing others to learn and benefit from both your errors and your successes. Even people who are uncomfortable talking in meetings can be of service by arriving early to help set up chairs and make coffee, and staying late to clean up. These “quiet workers” are the people who make AA meetings possible! The trick with service work, as twelfth step work is often called, is simply finding a “job” that you’re comfortable with, and then doing it without expecting recognition or thanks.
The second part of step twelve, practicing the 12-step principles in our day-to-day lives, is even easier. After all, we’ve been doing this with the first eleven steps already, and we have step ten (which we practice on a regular basis) to keep us on the straight and narrow, so to speak. In step twelve we merely continue the step-work we’ve already done and are doing on an ongoing basis, making sure we apply the lessons we learn to all aspects of our existence, not just our addiction.
Despite the ease of working step twelve, all recovering addicts nearly always fall short of their ultimate goals. And this is just fine. In fact, it’s not only acceptable, it’s expected. We are not saints when we arrive, and we do not miraculously become saints just because we’re working the program. Our real goal is to live sober one day at a time, and to do it a little bit better today than we did it yesterday. Thus, as we work the twelfth step, it is wise to keep in mind the well-known 12-step mantra of progress not perfection.