What Is a Bottom Line Behavior?
Simply put, a bottom line behavior is a behavior that, if engaged in, will compromise your sobriety. That’s a loaded statement that will have a different meaning for everyone who reads this, but that’s what bottom line means to me: a limit I set on myself so that I have a better chance of maintaining my sobriety. From the outside looking in, setting bottom lines can seem like a simple, straightforward process, especially for someone who’s recovering from any kind of sexual addiction. However, in my experience, going through the process of setting bottom lines brought up many issues.Accessory Behaviors
At this point, I need to note that there’s another term that’s common in sexual recovery groups—accessory behaviors. In my journey toward recovery, it’s been helpful to consider accessory behaviors and bottom line behaviors as the same thing. Why? Because an accessory behavior, for me, starts the internal cascade that leads to crossing a bottom line behavior. I need a firm line in the sand that I clearly cannot cross: for that reason, accessory behaviors are bottom line behaviors. While this may not work for everyone, this is what has worked for me and kept me firmly on the path of recovery from sexual addiction.My Bottom Lines
Here’s a list of sexual recovery bottom lines I set for myself after my first recovery meeting:- No sex outside of a committed relationship
- No sex with someone who is married
- No sex on the first date
- No reaching out to former sex partners with a sexual agenda
- No sex-oriented conversations
- No sex-themed online chat rooms
- No “checking out women”—on the street, in the grocery store or anywhere
