Trauma and Co-Dependency

When dealing with a codependent relationship, it’s crucial to look at how it began and what factors created it. Trauma and co-dependency frequently go hand-in-hand with childhood trauma causing codependent symptoms in later life. But what can you do about it? To understand the causes of trauma and co-dependency, discuss your concerns with a compassionate expert at the mental health treatment center in Pennsylvania.

What is Co-Dependency?

Co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic in which one person’s needs are secondary to another’s. Typically, co-dependency occurs when true intimacy does not. It is commonly developed in relationships with an addicted individual but also develops in other relationships with people who are somehow emotionally unavailable. Relationships in which there is some type of traumatic bonds, such as those involving physical, sexual or emotional abuse, can also create co-dependency in the victim.

Relationship Dynamics

The characteristics of co-dependency are behaviors that govern interactions, feelings about oneself and others and beliefs about oneself and others. Codependents are typically passive and submissive rather than active or assertive in their interactions. They seek others’ approval, try to appease others and care for others in an attempt to avoid conflict, rejection, and abandonment. Consequently, these relationship ‘goals’ involve poor interpersonal boundaries and putting one’s needs, desires and feelings aside. Relationships are governed by the needs and desires of others who are often believed to be more important or more competent.

Feelings of Co-Dependency and Related Behaviors

Individuals who use codependent behaviors have many chronic negative feelings. These include feelings of insecurity, incompetency, anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, helplessness, hopelessness, and emptiness. Additionally, there is often a sense of impending doom and the need to ward it off by engaging in compulsive behavior. Although codependents typically feel compelled to take some sort of action to ‘fix’ problems, compulsive behaviors tend to create other problems for them since their efforts to help others can be misguided and ineffective. Often codependents will attempt to solve problems for others that can only be solved by others taking personal responsibility. This is particularly true when codependents attempt, for example, to control another’s substance use or similar behavior. Many codependents are active to the point of chronic fatigue and exhaustion. Compelled by a need to care for others and manage their anxiety and emotions, they are routinely overly responsible. Consequently, they do not attend to their basic needs for rest, relaxation and stress management. Feelings of incompetence, helplessness, and hopelessness can become pervasive and interfere with the pursuit of appropriate life goals.

Trauma and Co-Dependency

Trauma and co-dependency take their toll in all areas of one’s life. A prolonged period of poor self-care and focusing upon the needs of others creates emotional, behavioral and psychological problems in all relationships. Co-dependency within the family affects occupational and social functioning outside the home as the interpersonal boundaries of codependents manifest there as well. Additionally, many physical problems can result from codependent relationships and behaviors since poor self-care involves inadequate stress management and ineffective management of one’s emotional health. It is not unusual, for example, that codependents develop substance disorders, eating disorders and other compulsive behaviors that cause significant problems in all relationships and all realms of daily life. Consequently, codependents may incur significant losses and missed opportunities. Normal social, emotional and psychological development can be interrupted making the successful completion of personal goals unattainable. Co-dependency makes one vulnerable to forming relationships of abuse and staying in them after abuse develops. Self-neglect, poor boundaries and poor self-esteem can create a tolerance for maltreatment, acceptance, and enablement of the inappropriate behavior of others. Passivity, self-doubt and the tendency to internalize blame can cause codependents to feel responsible for their own victimization. Many codependents rationalize their abusers’ behavior by assuming responsibility for it. They then attempt to ‘control’ the abuse by changing themselves. Consequently, the abusers’ dysfunction is minimized, justified and denied.

Co-Dependency and Self-Sabotage

People with trauma and co-dependency can be significantly at risk of sabotaging their life goals. They may engage in self-defeating or self-harming behaviors to manage anxiety, depression, emptiness and other such feelings that result from co-dependency. Substance use, eating disorders, sexual acting out and intentional self-injury are some of the high-risk behaviors that may be used to combat the negative inner experience of co-dependency. Self-hatred and depression, both the possible results of chronic co-dependency, can result in depression and even suicidality. Similarly, co-dependency may lead some to have a series of dysfunctional relationships throughout their lives in which their unhealthy behaviors cause chronic difficulties in functioning that derail ambitions, hopes, dreams, and achievements. Participating in unhealthy relationships naturally results in dissatisfying life experiences, however, some become involved with controlling, manipulative or abusive individuals that cause emotional, psychological and physical harm to themselves and other family members.

Getting Help for Trauma and Co-Dependency

Contact The Ranch to start getting help for trauma and co-dependency for yourself or a loved one. The treatment center is equipped to handle the mental health results of trauma as well as substance abuse. The following programs address issues of trauma and co-dependency: